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[listening] I May Be Cowed


Ranking evaluations have come and the usual number of expulsions and transfers have occurred. Not the least of which was Q, my room mate of 43 days. The act of making the move to Q's room and then the subsequent move back into my old living arrangements upon Q's transfer out of Wammy's House have been... inconvenient. However, I suppose that it is only natural to have expected that after evaluations were completed, many of the orphanage's students would be expelled for psychological or academic performance reasons... I had not, however, expected that Q would be among them.

It is a lesson, of course. Every act that takes place in this house can be assumed to be a lesson, and I suppose that even in the most minor and simple-seeming situations one must always be prepared to expect that which is not expected.

The house smells very strange these days, with the introduction of several new odours and the loss of some old and familiar ones. It will be very strange, no longer smelling that pleasant mix of chemicals or the veneer of old and precious wood. I do not, however, find myself wanting for the scent of that especially sweaty child, nor the alcoholic tinge of another classmate... but these are digressions.

Please, take care to keep yourselves clean and to eat well. It would be no good to see another rash of the flu spreading through this house, especially now that we are starting in on the next evaluation period and, as always, the stakes have been raised once again.

As a side note, the case in Eastleigh is now completed and my report has been filed with Roger. I have received requests to publish my case report in my journal, but I am afraid that the publication of this case report has been disallowed by law enforcement in Eastleigh, upon requests made by the families of both the victim and the perpetrator. I am not allowed to disclose any personal information about the case at this point, and much as that seems... unnecessary and strange to me, I am obliged to concede to these requests.

If it was not immediately obvious, for all future medical matters I can be found in my old location. Fourth floor, room 408. My usual policy of total nondisclosure remains in-place, now as much as ever.

Perhaps the room re-arrangement was a lesson from Roger, intended to remind me that I am never to allow outside influences or stimuli to effect the completion of my appointed tasks? However it goes, I believe that I have learned from this lesson. This expulsion ritual takes place every time the rankings are re-assessed, and as such it was perhaps a rather... ill-conceived notion to think that I would be capable of conducting myself with normal speed and efficiency on the recent case in Eastleigh.

It will be important not to make a similar mistake in the future. While I am not affected by the same emotional and psychological turmoil as my classmates, even in times of great duress such as the approach of evaluation time, it is not good of me to assume that I will not be hindered in some other way. No matter how indirectly they are related to you, the action or inaction of other individuals will always affect the quality and speed of your progress.


I'm sorry you've lost Q. You two were good friends, weren't you?
...While I do not deny that I found him to be very interesting and a rather agreeable individual, we could not have been considered 'friends.'
Ah... Well...

Do you want me to bake something for you tomorrow?
I was very surprised myself to see all those chillens go! Quite sad, quite sad! Though I was not familiar with all of them, my heart goes out to their future adventures and to wherever they may roam!
It was a slight surprise to me, but yet... I think with all the recent increase of workload, it really pushed people to their limit. Which in this case is a good thing. I'm still trying to breath after all that work, too. I think it's for the best, though I hope no one left bitter or upset. [5+]
I've never been terribly skillful with understanding peoples' feelings, but one assumes that expulsion from this institution would be seen as proof that they are not worthy to stay here. People are usually... emotionally invested in being 'worthy,' aren't they? I would think that one would be... mad. Or sad, perhaps... your use of the term 'bitter' seems very fitting.

Still. It is both a blessing and a curse that our records are wiped clean when we come to this place. I would hope that those students who have been expelled now are not inconvenienced by this.
Oh...Obie I'm so sorry...

How are you? I haven't really seen much of you around lately?probably because I've been buried in my own room studying so much...
I... am not sure why you are concerned, Jaron. You have not done anything to affront me: I understand that re-evaluation time is a busy period for everyone, and that it is not unusual for people to become absorbed in their work and the betterment of their rank especially before the end.

((ooc: /=A= It's hard playing someone who's so cold and unemotional when I really do miss Q!))
Ah...y-yeah...but still I feel sortof bad for not getting to see anyone lately..I miss seeing everyone around the house.
Ah. It seems I am not the only one who finds the new room assignments inconvenient. Although I would say that you are on the better end given that you do not have the need to share it with another.

And I wish to congratulate you on your completion of the case. It is unfortunate, however, that you are not allowed to publish your report.
Yes, it is very unfortunate. It would have been good to have been able to share it with my classmates because it was, in all honesty, a very interesting and challenging case- for many reasons. It is a shame that there can be legal maneuvers made to silence me when it would be very good to share this experience with others for education purposes.

You are inconvenienced by having to have a room mate? This seems only natural... one cannot make their living space truly efficient when they must share it with another individual, after all.

It is worth mentioning that students over the age of 17 are able to apply for a single rooming assignment if they so desire.
Smells strange? ... dude, you sound like you have a sensitive sense of smell.
I do not have a particularly unusual nose, but I have a definite appreciation of scents and, as such, a great sensitivity to them. You can learn a great deal about someone -their habits, their health, their preferences in diet- from their scent alone.

I do not believe that I have made your acquaintance yet. Perhaps when we meet, I can describe to you the qualities of your scent.
It is unfortunate, but it ensures that only the best remains and those who remains strive to be even better.
The necessity of such an act is obvious, and it is very good to implement such a plan -purging the worst and keeping only the best- because it does just as you say: allows for those individuals who are already of high quality to become even better.

Whether something is unfortunate or not is... an emotional matter, I believe, and something with which I am not entirely familiar. I trust your judgment on these matters, Jibril.
[letter] Over Oblivion

March 2008

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